ridiculous premise #76
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Alexeara Cansellarion is in his study when he gets the vision from his Goddess, which means he must have fucked up quite badly.

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"It is possible to resurrect the mortal Iomedae," she says without disabusing him of the fairly ridiculous notion that he could in some way have spared Her the cost of telling him that. It would in fact be a waste of their shared resources to say that. 

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…That one might in fact not be his (or Lastwall’s) fault though if they’ve been able to resurrect the mortal Iomedae this whole time - well someone made a mistake somewhere in there. He teleports to Vigil as soon as the vision ends, to ask Her in the next planned commune whether this vision was in fact from Her, then does a sending to ask, ugh, Clepati, whether she happens to have prepared true resurrection this morning.

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It’s the funniest thing! She did! Actually three times but the third one is unrelated.

 

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Yeah he thought that might happen. (He'll ask about the second when he gets there, rather than waste another spell.) Make that an emergency commune, then? And he’ll borrow a wizard for the hop to Sothis.

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"Do I need to tell you who?"

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“Well, you need to tell me which of them to do first! I get first and second confused, you know. It's like how small children confuse their left and their right."

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"...Okay. Well. Iomedae said we could resurrect the mortal Iomedae. There isn't a second as far as I know."

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"You never know anything," complains Nefreti, and casts a True Resurrection. 

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- the result is a teenage girl, undressed and with long loose hair, whose face breaks out into a delighted smile at the sight of them for all of two seconds before she’s mortified about the undress.

 

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What. Well, uh, he can avert his gaze. While thinking about - what. Why is she a teenager? (Obviously the Goddess would not have warned him, he’s just confused how this is possible and gets this particular result - )

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"Nefreti seems to think there's a second person to resurrect, do you know anything about that?"

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"Alfirin. She - worked with me on the whole project, she's the one with the better memory for all the chemical manufacturing processes - I can pay for her resurrection, or I predict I'll be able to once we work out terms -"

She's a bit hard to understand, because she is speaking Taldane not just as it was spoken nine hundred years ago but as it was spoken nine hundred years ago in rural Menador.

"...may I have some clothes."

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“Clothes are expensive here,” says Nefreti, apparently tremendously amused. 

 

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“We were pretty sure we could pay the resurrection back inside an hour.”

 

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Cansellarion is confused. He doesn’t think clothes are more expensive in Sothis than in any other city? “Nefreti if you have some robes handy I’ll pay for them - mundane robes. Or dresses. Or whatever.”

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“I am a paladin of Aroden and usually wear men’s clothes,” says the teenage girl, “though it isn’t very important. ....Who…are you?” She had kind of expected the church’s senior priests to be more…she’s not sure, actually. More ornately dressed, less confused, more people who are the kind of people in the kind of stories you hear about the glorious imperial capital - stories she can now identify as kind of awful, but material abundance will make it better -

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“That’s - complicated and I’d rather explain once after you and your friend are both alive and clothed though if you order me to tell you now I will of course obey.”

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This gets him an absolutely baffled look from the teenage girl, which unfortunately he misses because he is politely not looking at her. “I have had little access to theological education but I don’t think you have to obey people just because they’re paladins,” she says. 

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Nefreti tosses her some robes of many garments. “Try these on and see if they fit! For some reason when trying on clothes people always say ‘and see if they fit’.”

 

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…Iomedae makes the robes of many garments resemble Earth cargo pants and a kevlar vest. They're magical clothes; they fit her automatically. “Can you get Alfirin, please? Uh, not asking as a paladin, just asking because I think it will probably have good results.”

 

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“I’m already working on it! I think. Sometimes I get confused about what you understand ‘already’ to mean. She’ll be here soon.”

 

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Alfirin materializes and wakes up and squeaks. "Clothes please? …that was fast. Subjectively."

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“I don’t know how long it took, objectively” Iomedae says. “- what year is it?”

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“Oh, I can never keep track."

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"Ah - forty-seven twelve, Absalom reckoning."

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