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there's only so much I can turn into
Sparkles' Origin Story
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The thirteen-year-old girl is coming back home from school, on foot.

There's a cat following her. It's been following her for a while, but from a distance.

She decides to be friendly. She stops and turns around to look at it. It stops as well. "Mow?"

The girl's face—changes. It's still a human face, mostly, but now there's something different about it. More feline than anything. Whiskers grow, her pupils dilate and her eyes get a bit rounder, her bones move under her skin, their shape changing a bit. "Mew," she says, vocal apparatus having changed a bit, apparently.

The cat blinks and approaches cautiously. "Moow...?"

She doesn't giggle, but she feels like giggling. She's talking to a kitty! Well, kinda talking to a kitty, it's not like she can understand kitty-speech. But still! "Maw!"

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The wind changes. The kitty suddenly runs for no apparent reason.
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"Mrrrow?" she calls out, blinking, then her face shifts again and she pouts. "I didn't want to talk to you anyway!" she says to no one in particular.

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"Oh, that's not your fault," says a voice.

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She eeps. "What?" she asks, turning to look at wherever the voice came from. She was sure there was no one around, she checked! She'd have never shifted if there had been.

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"Cats don't like me. Sorry about that."

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"What did you see?" she asks immediately.

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The stranger's hand flashes out, too fast to see, and brushes across Sadde's cheek, barely enough to feel, and then she duplicates the cat morph. "Just this."

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She blinks. "You can do it too?"

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"Mm-hm."

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"How? Well I guess that's a stupid question since I don't know how I can do it either except, maybe you do? Since you're older, maybe you've had it for longer, have you had it for longer? How long have you had it? Do you know how you can do it?"

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"I can do it because you can. Other places, I get different stuff." She puts her face back.

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"What do you mean, because I-" She pauses, then checks that she can still do it. She can. Good. She squints at her. "You copied it from me? And there are other people who can do other things? How?"

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"I did. There are. Magic. Some people are born with it, some... grow into it."

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"You can grow into magic? How? How come I've never met anyone else with magic? And how does magic work? Where does it come from? Why do some people have it and some don't? How come everyone thinks magic is pretend?" There isn't a particularly sensible order to the questions.

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"Oh, it's very rare, it's not odd that I'm the first one you've met if it doesn't happen to run in your family. The science of it is all very unscientific, unfortunately."

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"How can science be unscientific? Either it's science and then it's scientific or it's not scientific and then it's not science," she says reasonably.

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"Well, the sample sizes are at most two, and that's with me personally helping, you see, the exact same witchcraft never turns up twice. And I'm more interested in the practicals... for instance, did you know most witches can get their magic to do more things if they work at it?"

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"Witches," she tastes the word, and giggles. "No, I didn't know most witches can get their magic to do more things if they work at it, since I never knew there was any such thing as most witches that didn't include me and no one else."

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"Of course. Have you gotten yours to do anything you didn't start with?"

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"That depends on what you mean by 'start with,'" she says, then looks at the sky. "I should probably go home, it's getting late, also you're a complete stranger and I shouldn't be talking to complete strangers about magic at night. But I wanna talk more about magic and you’re the first person to know anything about it.”

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"That's what I'm here for, talking about magic. When would be convenient?"

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"I'd have to ask mum. And she would actually consider it. Actually, if you come with and show her that you can do the same thing I can it might help, she's been looking into this stuff like crazy for years, you wouldn't believe how many whackos she's met. Anyway, yeah, unless you wanna kidnap me in which case I'm gonna run a lot and scream, I could show you to mum."

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"I don't usually kidnap people, so we should be fine. Lead the way."

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She does!

It's small. Really small. As she opens the door to the apartment she calls out, "Mum! I'm home! There's someone I want you to meet!"

"New frie—oh, hello," Laura says, clearly surprised by the fact that 'someone' turned out to be an adult. The fact that she's absurdly stunning and very very pale doesn't help.

"Mum, mum, she can do the same thing I can! Look, show her!" That last part looking at Addy.
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Addy shifts skin tone down to something more human and less sparkly-should-the-sun-come-out, adopts a new hair color (brown), and turns her eyes blue.

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Laura blinks.

"Would you like to come inside and have some tea?"

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"Oh, no tea for me, thanks, but I appreciate the offer." She steps in.

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Laura nods and grabs tea anyway, which Sadde apparently drinks as well.

"How did you two meet?"

"She, erm, saw me shift in the middle of the street."

"Sadde!"
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"It's all right, I'm very stealthy. There really was no one else around."

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Laura pauses—

And decides there's no polite way to ask someone why they were being stealthy in the first place, so she changes the subject. "And you can do the same thing Sadde can?"

"She can copy magical powers—apparently they're magical—and she copied mine."

"So there are more."

"Yes!"

"Can I just assume you asked the obvious questions and the answers were unsatisfactory enough that you didn't just tell me all of them already?"

"...yes?"

She looks at Addy again. "So, what's next?"
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"My thing is going around, finding witches, and helping them expand their powers in creative ways!"

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"...that's quite convenient," Laura says after sipping some tea.

"Will you tell me about other witches? How do you find them? What other powers are there? Oh also mum there's one non obvious thing, powers are apparently never duplicate."

"That, on the other hand, is quite inconvenient."

Sadde giggles.
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"My power - the copying, not the one I'm borrowing from Sadde - gives me a decent chance of telling from a ways off whether somebody's a witch or not. But there's some trial and error. What do you want to know about other witches?"

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"Everything! How many you've met, where, when, who they are, what their powers are like, how they work, how you helped them, how much they changed, what they're doing now..."

"Why is there such secrecy around these witches?" Laura asks.
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"You tell me, why isn't Sadde allowed to shift in front of people?"

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"Chesterton's fence," she says. "Until we know why it's not talked about, we don't talk about it."

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"Well, fair enough. But I don't recommend sharing it around. If too many people believe you, you'll have some people very invested in it not getting out at your throats. This isn't why most witches keep it secret; most witches don't know that - but it's why you should keep your mouths shut and mouth-shaped. Most people are doing more or less what you did: keeping quiet because they don't know what would happen if they didn't."

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That's disturbing. Both mother and daughter look disturbed. "Why are there people so invested in it not getting out?"

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"Fears of witch hunts, obviously."

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"Obviously," she echoes.

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"Okay, but anyway, witch classes from a witch trainer, that's kinda dropped onto our laps, good, right?" She's clearly very excited about the prospect.

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"I'm so glad you're enthusiastic about it!" says Addy. "So how far have you stretched it already?"

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"Well, the first time I turned was... surprising."

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"That's one way to put it," Laura says, dryly. "She switched sexes in her crib when she was one."

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"That's still the easiest way I can change, probably because I have so much practice at it. For the longest time it was all I could do. But then I learnt how to change other stuff, like what you saw today, or what you did now. I think I can change into almost anything human, except the farther it is from what I currently look like, the longer it takes, and if I haven't done it many times before it also takes a lot of concentration."

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"Hmm. What are you concentrating on specifically when you're doing a difficult transformation?"

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"I have to focus on what exactly I want to change, and how I want it to change. Like... I don't need to specifically know the anatomical details or anything, but I need to kinda will my bones to do this and move there and look like that, and my eyes to turn this particular colour, stuff like that. And sometimes the stuff I have to change is all related in different ways, and so I have to focus on it all at the same time, or do it just a little bit here and a little bit there, and sometimes if I do it too much the wrong way it can get in painful positions until I fix it."

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"Do you ever get out of practice with things you haven't tried in a long time, or is it like riding a bike?"

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Laura watches this exchange with interest for a while, having little to add to it.

"I'm going to start working on dinner, if you need anything." And she goes to the small kitchen over there, from where she can still hear everything they're saying.

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"Okay, mum!"

Back to Addy: "I never get as out of practice as if I had never tried it before, but it can get harder, yeah. Like, the more I practice it, the more natural it becomes to do stuff a certain way in a certain order, so I can just redo it more quickly later, but then if it's too long since I've done it I have to try to remember it again. Maybe the best analogy is an old recipe?"
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"When it hurts what's the cause? Something squeezing something else or stretching out, or do some shapes just hurt to be even if there's none of that?"

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"The first thing," she says promptly. "At least, nothing I've tried yet just intrinsically hurts."

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"What if you wanted to, say, grow horns, would that hurt?"

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"I don't know, I've never tried! I don't even know what I'd have to do, I dunno if I can just like open holes on my skin for horns to come out like that."

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"Can you grow more teeth? Or scales?"

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"Teeth... mmmmaybe. I think I probably could, if I made my current teeth smaller to fit the new ones? I dunno about the scales, though, I guess I'd have to first figure out what sort of scales, and then I dunno if they'd come from my skin or from under it or what."

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"You don't know? You wouldn't get to decide that sort of thing?"

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"Maybe? I haven't tried anything humans can't be, so I don't know how it'd interface. All the things I've tried were just, you know, other ways to be human, or combinations of other ways to be human that might look a particular way when juxtaposed like the kitten thing."

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"Well, if you can do teeth you can probably do horns, and if you can do horns you can probably do scales."

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"I suppose. It sounds like it'd hurt, though."
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"You've grown new teeth before, you're not that young."

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"Well but teeth kinda do hurt a little, don't they? I don't remember anymore. And horns would be similar but bigger, I think."

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"Sure, teeth can hurt. But you can put yourself back. You've got lots of practice having the number of teeth you have."

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"I guess," she says, dubiously. "What do you think I should try first, then?"

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"Teeth'll be easiest. And gums are just another kind of skin. If you can grow things through that, you can do horns, too."

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She nods and—closes her eyes.

She grins, and all of her upper teeth start getting progressively smaller (mostly thinner), with a gap opening up in the middle. It's a pretty slow process, sometimes an "Ow!" escapes when she squeezes something she shouldn't have, but otherwise it goes smoothly.

Eventually there's enough space for a reasonably sized tooth, but instead of pushing one through the gums she extends the openings around her other teeth so there's a clean hole there. Then a new tooth starts growing from the hole until it looks quite natural, there, except for the fact that it's in the middle of her face.

"That kinda hurt a little, but not too much," she opines, her words sounding a bit weird due to the unfamiliar landscape.
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"I saw that, you didn't actually grow the tooth through the gums," Addy says. "That's fine for teeth but it doesn't help with figuring out if you can do horns. Hm. If you're nervous about it hurting, maybe add a fingernail somewhere that hasn't usually got any. You can start with nail matrix, that's the stuff under the nail itself, and grow nail from that, should be nice and smooth."

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She pouts. "But what if I can do the same thing? Like, maybe open holes on the skin of my forehead, in a way that doesn't hurt, and push the horns through there?"

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"All right, that's worth trying too."

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She closes her eyes for this. The skin and muscle of her forehead start shifting visibly, two circular depressions appearing where they get thinner and thinner. She frowns a bit, but says "Ow!" when that pulls something she's working on and stops frowning. Eventually the shifts settle and there are two very clear discs on her forehead, but no horns are forthcoming.

"...I don't think I can do it."
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"Why not? You can move bones."

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"I... I don't mean it's impossible to do it, I think if I tried really hard I could, but I think it'll hurt a lot."

She closes her eyes again, and after a few seconds two little points start poking from under the skin of those depressions, as if tiny little horns were trying to grow from there.
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"Can you grow bone without adding any nerve to it, maybe?"

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She ponders the question. "Ye-es? I think." Pause. "I wonder if I could maybe remove the nerves from the skin and muscle, too? So it won't hurt?"

She tries that. But that is not a way a human could be. With the two little points still pushing against the skin, a faint shifting can be seen—by Addy the vampire, not by any humans, it's too faint. She winces and shudders as she does that, but doesn't actually say "Ow!" It just... takes quite a while.

Dinner smells can be smelled!
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Addy is infinitely more interested in Sadde than in dinner.

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Eventually the shifting of nerves stops. Sadde swallows, then starts pushing the horns against the skin again. She shapes them to be a bit sharper, so they'll cut skin more easily, and eventually two spots of blood appear, and expand, ripping open with a very unappealing sound (to humans) as the little bone horns manage to emerge.

"...this feels really weird," she says, her eyes still closed, and blood trailing down her face. There is in fact quite a lot of blood. Head wounds are known for bleeding more than their severity calls for but wow.
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"Can't you close your blood vessels?" Addy asks, a little quietly, not using too much air.

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She frowns, and winces, the nerves routed around her new horns acting funny. But eventually the blood flow does slow down and finally stops altogether.

"Yeah," she answers.
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"Dinner's—oh, Sadde, are you alright?!" Her mum quickly scoots over at her, shooting Addy a look.

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"I'm fine, it doesn't hurt, I rerouted my nerves. Erm, can you get something to clean my face, though?"

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"I didn't know she was going to start bleeding," Addy says. She taps Sadde on the hand and grows her own horns. "Look, when I do it I don't bleed." And indeed she does not.

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Of course she doesn't.

Laura goes back to the kitchen and returns with a lot of paper towel, handing it to her daughter.

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"Thanks, mum," she says, cleaning herself up as well as she can, then opening her eyes and blinking a few times. "Wow, you look wicked! Mum, do I look cool like that?"

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"Yes, dear," she says, smirking a bit and returning to the kitchen. "Anyway, as I was saying, dinner's ready."

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Addy undoes her horn morph. "I can come back later, perhaps."

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"Oh you needn't, there's enough food for you."

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"Yeah and also you need to teach me how you managed not to bleed!"

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"I'm afraid I have extremely bizarre dietary needs and I wouldn't dream of asking you to meet them," Addy says. "And I didn't leave any open blood vessels, that's how."

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"If you're sure," Laura says.

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"Well, these are neat, anyway! I like them! Yes mum I know I can't keep them," she sighs, and then shrinks them herself, not nearly as quickly as Addy. "How come you're faster at it than I am?"

Also, there seems to be a slight problem in her version of the horns, namely that she doesn't actually have super healing, even if she can keep her skin flaps close together and not... flapping about.
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"I have practice at picking up new magic quickly and I'm not afraid of things hurting," Addy says. "I'll be back in, call it an hour, enjoy your dinner."

And she lets herself out.
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"...what a curious person," Laura says.

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Sadde just giggles.

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Addy is back an hour later. There is not a homeless man's blood on her lips; she ate very neatly. Knock knock.
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"Hello!" the girl says when she opens the door. Her forehead has bandages covering the spot where the horns' damage is healing. "How come your forehead isn't all ripped open, too?"

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"I put it back. Don't you think you could manage the same thing? Healing is just being a different shape than before."

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"Mmmmmaybe? I never managed it before. I do heal faster than other people, though."

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"You have lots of practice not having holes in your head. I bet you can arrange it."

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"Hm."

That's actually pretty reasonable. She removes the bandages and—focuses.

It's hard. But not as hard as growing horns, since those aren't actually human at all and she had to invent a shape for them and such. Except it's another kind of hard, she has to concentrate on much finer detail than normal, knitting the wounds together. Just visualising the way she wants her forehead to be isn't enough.

But eventually she does manage to do it.

"Wicked!"

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Addy boops her again. "I don't think I remembered to introduce myself. That's me, all business - I'm Addy."

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She blinks. "Yeah, you didn't. And why do you keep booping me?"

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"To update my copy of your power. I can't do anything new with it, only you can."

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She scratches her head. "Mending the damage is the new thing? So how did you do it before, if it wasn't that?"

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"Oh, sometimes it turns out there's nothing new after all, but I can't tell until I check."

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"Oh. That's interesting. What counts as 'new,' though? Isn't what I did just another application of the same principles? I didn't feel like I really did anything all that new, just... erm... combined the old things in a new way."

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"That's exactly the sort of thing that I pick up. That and stretching old things in new directions and new distances."

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"But it's so weird that you can't do it yourself. Like, what would have happened if you had tried doing the horns thing before I did? Or the tooth thing, even?"

By the by, her teeth are back to normal.
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"It might have worked, but if it did, it would have been because you could already do it and hadn't before for some other reason, like being scared of it."

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"Hmmm. I don't think there's ever been anything like that? Or at least I don't feel like there's ever been anything like that. It all feels like just the same thing. I mean... I guess the best way to explain it is that it feels like mixing paint. It may be a different colour, but I already had all the paint before and just mixed it differently this time."

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"Sure. But my power doesn't work like yours, and every so often I'm gonna have to boop you."

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She shrugs. "Okay, I guess. So, erm, what next?"

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"Did you try the fingernail thing?"

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"Nnnnooooo, I thought it wouldn't be very useful after I managed to do the horn thing."

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"It's a different principle. Fingernails grow from a certain kind of skin. Changing some of your skin into matrix might make it easy to grow nail from it, or it might not, and either way would be interesting."

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"Hmmm, okay, let me try."

This one is a bit different as well. It's a way humans can be, but it's not the right place they can be. She could probably just move a bit of matrix around until it reached her destination, but that'd feel... inelegant. She has to coax a part of her body to be something it's not, not just to grow in a different way or move a bit.

...this one actually feels different in the way Addy suggested might happen. It's really not just some other way of doing what she always did. Her right palm, there, that's as good a place as any and good to show, so she starts changing.

It's really slow.
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Addy is infinitely patient and attentive.

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Eventually it does work. She reworks the nerves and closes the blood vessels, which takes a few more minutes—it's not nearly as intuitive as stuff she already knew—and then starts growing a nail along her palm.

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"And now you can have mutant superhero armor at a moment's notice. Fingernails are made of the same stuff as rhino horn, you know."

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She grins.

"Well, not a moment's notice, yet. How long did we take on this?" She looks at the wall clock in the kitchen, visible from where they're sitting. "Wow, that took twenty minutes. For this?!" A very small nail in the middle of her right palm. "Bleeehh. This one was different, though. I think you might want to boop it." And she goes ahead and boops Addy of her own volition.
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"Thanks! But I think you can get faster. With practice."

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"Hmmm, yeah, probably. But I'd need to practice a lot."

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"As much as you can," Addy agrees.

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"We should make this a thing. Mmmmaybe you shouldn't come home all the time, now mum knows you and stuff and she's not home all that often so being just you and me at home would be kinda creepy so maybe somewhere else? Like, somewhere public but not public enough that people would notice right away if my face became all weird or something."

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"Do you have such a place in mind?"

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"There's this park between here and school, there's people there but not too many people, do you think that could work?"

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"I think your power's a little too conspicuous to practice in the park."

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"Okay... hmm... maybe a library? I know a couple hereabouts."

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"Maybe if you could go from thoroughly altered to normal faster than a librarian could round a corner, but you can't. Yet."

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"If we were in a remote corner behind some shelves and I had my back to them, they might not notice..." she suggests tentatively.

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"Yeah, until I have you trying to sprout wings. I don't wake up in the morning meaning to be creepy," she says, technically accurately, "but what exactly is wrong with your house?"

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"Well, mainly, if you try to kidnap me it'll be a lot easier if we're here than if we're anywhere else," she says, either lacking any kind of tact or not wanting to apply it.

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"I'm not going to kidnap you! What good would that even do?"

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"I don't know, I'm not a kidnapper. Why do you want to kidnap me, huh? Huh?" She giggles. "No, I guess it's just, safety precautions, since you're a strange adult who appeared out of nowhere with magical powers, and literally all the information we have comes from you. Like, there could be some conspiracy of witches somewhere and you want to steal me away for it—by the way, if there is one I am so in you can just tell me and I'll join."

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"Alas, I have no conspiracy to offer, it's just me and people I've visited before whose powers don't grow anymore. Would talking to some of those people help?"

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"It certainly wouldn't hurt, as long as you don't kidnap me to do it." She shrugs. "Do you have any suggestions of suitably private places that would make it nevertheless not ridiculously easy for you to kidnap me?"

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"I could call them on the phone. But unfortunately the nature of privacy is that mostly people are not supervising it to make kidnappers' lives inconvenient."

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"The phone's good, I guess, though not a guarantee. But I guess if you really really wanted to kidnap me you had a pretty good chance with the cat." She shrugs. "Alright, we can keep coming here, I suppose."

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"Thank you." Pause. "So, did you know some humans are born with extra fingers?"

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"I did!"

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"But I'm sure Ms... Addy must be very tired of you occupying her time like that," Laura's voice can be heard before the woman can be seen coming from the kitchen again, with a book in her hand. "Besides, it is a school night. It might be best if you resume experimentation tomorrow."

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"Sure. When would it be convenient for me to come back?"

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She looks at Sadde then back at Addy and says, "After Sadde has come home from school, at around the same time as today, would be a good time, I suppose. I won't be home until a while later, however."

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"Well," says Addy. "I won't let anyone kidnap her."

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"Oh good," Laura says, dryly.

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Sadde giggles. "Bye, Addy! See you tomorrow!"

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"Bye!"

And Addy departs.

She is back punctually the following afternoon.
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Sadde is waiting the next afternoon!

"Hi, Addy!" she greets, waving and then gesturing for her to walk inside. She might notice the hand Sadde's doing that with happens to have six fingers.

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"Oh, lookit you, you did it!"

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"I did it! It wasn't really any harder than growing the nail but it took longer. I was working on it at school, I had my hand inside my pocket and it was weird, I had to first create the skin then start filling it with bone and tendon and it hurt at first but I started doing the nerve thing so it didn't hurt anymore but it was still pretty slow. And now I was trying to untie the tendons of these two fingers and then you arrived and I can’t really move my hand much at the moment.”

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"Untie them?"

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She shows her good hand and tries lowering the pinky finger without doing the same to the ring finger. "You know, the way these two tendons are kinda the same tendon? That. I wanna separate them so I can move my fingers separately. I bet that would be a nice party trick to show people," she says, giggling.

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"Ooh, that sounds clever. How're you doing with it so far?"

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"Not very well," she admits. "I don't actually know much about tendons, and this is different than the other things in that there's nothing I can, like, directly see about it. Usually I have to focus on what I want it to look like at the end, but this will mostly look the same so. It's different."

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"I'll get you an anatomy book. Maybe you could make your skin transparent. Humans don't come in transparent but frogs do."

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"Hmm." She looks at her hand—the one with the extra pinky—and tilts her head, frowning slightly. The skin there starts getting really pale, as pale as Addy's and somewhat more insubstantial, as if she's quite malnourished in addiction to very terribly pale, but not yet transparent. "I think maybe I'd need to see a picture of a frog like that? Or... something. I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong."
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"I can get you pictures of glass frogs. You have transparent parts, though. Your corneas, for instance."

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"Yeah, but I can't really translate? I mean, I guess I could... shift the tissue of my skin into cornea tissue, like I did to create the nail, but then it wouldn't really be transparent skin, exactly. And I think it'd be just as fragile."

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"Frogs it is, then. Ever seen a firefly? They glow. Maybe you could light up from the inside to get a look at what you're doing with only your normal transparency to work with."

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"I've never actually seen one." Pause. "Would you mind terribly if we went to a library to borrow some books with this kind of thing? I know a few around," she says, not possessed of perfect memory to recall she mentioned that the previous evening.

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"Oh, I was going to just buy you the books, but if you want to go to a library I'll tag along." She checked; she can shift enough not to sparkle in the sun.

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She blinks. "Oh." Pause. "One part of me wants to graciously decline, the other is just repeating the word 'books' over and over."

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"I'm not hurting for money. It's a hobby expense, you see?"

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"You're not helping the first part," she says. "Well alright, but for now we can go to the library. Unless you want to buy them now?" Tad hopeful? Tad hopeful.

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"Sure, why not?"

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"Yay!"

Books!
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So Addy escorts her to a bookstore and gets her a book on human anatomy and one on various sorts of animals with pictures of e.g. glass frogs.

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Glass frogs are neat! On the way to the bookstore and back she works on retracting the extra finger, and she's done by the time they're experimenting again.

Twenty-three minutes later, she's staring at the tendons of her hand through her skin and can't decide whether the sight is gross or cool.
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"Helpful?"

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"Grool!" is what she settles on, giggling. "Okay, so, I guess I can compare the tendons here and..."

It's much easier when she has more of an idea of what she's aiming for like that, especially when she can compare directly. First she makes the tendons between ring and pinky more like the others; then, she changes all of the intersections so that all of her fingers are effectively independent of all others. Finally, she repeats the procedure on her other hand, without making its skin invisible first. That takes longer.

She wiggles them in front of her face, thirty-two minutes after she's started, grinning. "I think I'll keep this one," she says.
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"Sounds good to me. The transparent skin could be useful for all kinds of tricks. You could get rid of your appendix, those things are nothing but trouble."

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"Oooh good idea! But I don't think I can do all that tonight, might be best to wait for the weekend."

Her hand starts slowly returning to a state that matches the surrounding skin.
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"I wonder why it's so slow. Do you feel like something bad would happen if you tried to work fast?"

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"No, it's more that I have to really pay attention to what I'm doing when it's new. Sorta like a new recipe, making sure I got all the ingredients right and timing everything and all that. I've tried doing new things too fast before and it was nnnnnot pretty. Like in this case," she says, showing her shifting hand, "I could maybe miss a spot, or maybe a deeper layer would stay the same, or something like that, I mean I don't know for sure that that's what would happen but it's the kind of thing that could happen. Changes I'm more used to come much faster."

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"Seeing a picture of a glass frog helped. I wonder if you should watch movies with shapeshifters in them. And good special effects."

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"I don't feel like this would work. It's different than the frog thing. It feels like I need something to pivot around, even if I don't know the exact biological details of what I'm doing, and that's what the picture was for. I won't need a picture anymore, I know what it feels like to turn skin transparent, but I don't think I could do it at all without seeing it once. The time thing... Okay, I like the recipe analogy, so I'll go with it. Seeing the picture of the frog is like seeing a recipe, being fast is like knowing it by heart so I can just do it without thinking. If I see someone else baking a cake that doesn't make me good at baking cakes, even if I can in theory mimic it and bake a similar cake."

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"Fair enough." Pause. "Eyes evolved from light-sensitive patches of skin. I wonder if you could get three hundred sixty degree vision."

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"...oooooh." Pause. "What about all the nerves connecting to the visual cortex, though?"

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"I don't know. You can feel warmth all over your body, maybe with practice you could use that map to see light too."

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"Hmmm." She thinks. "Maybe I could try to, turn it into a different kind of warm? I dunno if I could hook it into the cortex, I'm afraid of touching my brain and screwing it up. And there's all those layers of stuff there, I dunno if I can get as much fine detail from that."

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"Layers of stuff?"

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"Neurons, layers of neurons, the visual cortex has lots of those to process images, I read that somewhere, and I think I could at most get blurs that I could learn to interpret visually from the rest of my body."

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"Fair enough. You could make yourself another kind of cone and see in more colors, maybe? I don't know whether there are real human tetrachromats but they're suspected possible and shouldn't require nervous system rewiring to emulate if I understand it right."

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"Ooh, I like that idea!" She opens one of her books and looks for stuff related to eyes. "I've never tried creating new cells, though, that sounds really hard to do."

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"You make new cells all the time just growing and replacing dead ones. These'll just be a different kind."

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"That's true," she says, reasonably. "And it's not really that different from the healing, is it? Fundamentally. Producing new cells from old ones and stuff. Hmm."

She doesn't close her eyes—that'd defeat the point. But she focuses.

For about five minutes, when she says, "I can't really tell if it's working or not."
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"Well, can you see any new colors? Or do existing colors look weird?"

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"Nope, but I dunno that it'd start working right away, I dunno if I have to rewire anything to get the new cones up and running."

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"I'm not sure either. Maybe we should read your book's section on eyes, see if it explains how cones work. In the meanwhile, you can change your hair, right? Even though hair's not alive past the root?"

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She nods. "I think nails aren't all alive either?"

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"They're not! And that means that you can make, and then change, non-alive matter. Maybe you could figure out how to grow specific kinds of things. Lay golden eggs, only probably not literally."

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"That... sounds like it would hurt. And I don't think I can shift into stuff that was never alive-ish in the first place? Or that's not... biological in some way? I mean, I can change bone, so the border's fuzzy, but I think gold is way too far from it. I mean, I totally want to try, I just have no idea how." She turns blonde—that's actually pretty fast, only takes a second—and her hair grows quite long. She flicks it. "Blonde, yes, golden, no." She shortens and blackens her hair again.

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"Cutting your hair doesn't hurt," Addy points out. "And you can make it longer, which means you can generate new things. Maybe not solid gold, maybe you're stuck with biology, but biology can do neat things. Ivory? Pearls? Coral?"

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"Those sound all possible to me," she says, after a second thinking about it. "I think that's also in increasing order of difficulty. Ivory sounds like I could just convince my bones to be a bit differently, Pearls like I could convince my cells to secrete a certain substance, Coral... I dunno much about Coral, I'll need to research that too, I guess." She pauses. "And it's interesting that I seem to have some intuition for this? I never noticed I had intuition for this."

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"It's very promising that you've got intuition for this! I bet wood would be even harder than coral, am I right?"

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She thinks, then nods. "Yes. I'm not even totally sure I could do wood. Why is that true?"

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"Coral's an animal thing, wood's a plant thing."

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"Hmm... isn't that distinction kinda pretty fuzzy anyway? I wonder if I could convince my magic it's a pretty fuzzy distinction."

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"Maybe you could! Might be easier to go via something other than wood. Convince your magic that your hair is not that unlike moss, maybe."

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"...but it is. Moss is actually alive, for one, and also is it even made of the same kind of thing? Erm, I should probably convince myself before trying to convince my magic."

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"Maybe. Maybe you should start small. Chlorophyll."

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"That's... a molecule, right? What should I do with that?"

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"Make sugar from sunlight, is I think the usual use. Also turn green."

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"Mmm," she says, and focuses on the back of her hand. She squints at it, and it does turn green. But—" I don't think this worked. I think my magic got stuck on the 'green' thing and kinda ignored where it was supposed to come from."

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"Not all plants are green. Japanese maples, say."

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"Hmmm, and it's the same chlorophyll thing? That might actually help."

More squinting. No colour changes happen.
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"Yes, ornamental red plants still photosynthesize the same way."

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"...I think this worked, but I have no idea how to tell that it worked."
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"Do it to your tongue, then go outside and go aaah at the sun and see if you taste anything."

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She giggles. "Okay, let me try that."

She tries that!

"I think maybe I tasted something but I may have imagined it."
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"Well, sun yourself while chlorophylly for an afternoon after skipping lunch and see how badly you want dinner."

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"But wouldn't that just make my skin cells get really sugary? How would the sugar get to the rest of my body? I'm not sure I could feasibly—well, I tell a lie, I'm pretty sure I could grow plant vessels around my body but I dunno if I could interface it very well with everything else."

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"Yes, that's true. Go around with chlorophyll in your lips on a dry day and then nibble some skin off them."

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"That's a good idea! And I might just leave chlorophyll on them anyway." Pause. "I wanna see if I can understand cones well enough to grow new ones from that book," she says, and grabs the book.

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"Should I leave you to that for the day?"

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She has not reached eyes yet. She looked at the index and there was so much stuff and she got distracted and—" Yyyyes, I think so."

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"Same time tomorrow?"

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Sadde takes a while to answer—she's become engrossed with something. "Oh, yeah, same time, sure!"

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Addy lets herself out. She's back the same time the next day.

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Sadde has a black eye!

Also he's a boy today.
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"What happened to you?"

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"Got into a fight," he shrugs. "I kept this because I wanted to show you that I can make it go away! Not quickly, though." He gestures her inside. "Also I made it so it wouldn't hurt, that took a while so it hurt at the start, but eventually I was giggling. That's when I got the black eye. It's really hard to feel angry and hit back when it doesn't actually hurt and I'm giggling."

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"Well, I'm pleased to see your dedication to the enterprise."

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"This is fun! I can totally see why you do it." He starts working on the black eye. It doesn't exactly heal as if it were going through all the normal stages, it just... fades away, over a couple of minutes.

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"What order were you doing that in?"

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"What do you mean?"

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"It took a while; there must have been steps. What were they?"

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"Oh. They were mostly, like, dissolving the blood clots and making sure they were going where they should go and stuff. I kinda have to go through all intermediate stages between where I am and where I want to be."

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"But in what order?"

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"Top to bottom?" he tries. "Or, shallower to deeper. First what was closest to the skin, then what became closest to the skin after that, and so on, until it was all gone."

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"Why in that order?"

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"I... don't know, it just came naturally. I don't think it'd be any more difficult to do it the other way around."

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"It might matter why it came naturally. People get witchcrafts that suit their personality; and figuring out exactly how your personality gave you the specific affordances it did can be key to expanding it."

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He ponders. "Hmmm... Yeah, I can see how my magic suits me. I'm—well, I'm a boy today. I just don't feel always the same way, like I should look the same or be treated the same. It's not just gender either, but having to be pretty inconspicuous doesn't help."

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"If you could be as conspicuous as you wanted what would you do?"

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"I don't know! That's the fun part. I'd just do what I felt like doing, I'd look like all sorts of things, I'd be all sorts of people. I'd, like, play pranks! I'd spend a week looking like an angel and a week looking like a demon and a week looking like a lizard, I'd dress up and dress down and, I don't know, really, sometimes I just feel like a kind of person and I wish I could be that."

Pause.

"...those don't sound much like they're the description of a personality thing, though." He hmms.
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"Well, they could be. Sounds very... whimsical. Mercurial. Actually, your last sentence reminds me of me, a little. I focus on magic these days but my thing turned out to be mimicry."

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He thinks about it. "Yeah, but I'm not really about copying other people, it's more like being a kind of thing? But... Prodding my brain a bit, I think it's more that I like to be in control, kinda. In control of what I'm showing, what I'm doing, how I'm presenting and what other people are thinking of me as. ...yeah, that sounds closer to the mark. I want my body and my self to be something I can control, not something that just happens."

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"So why the constraint to biology? What if you wake up one morning and want to be a cyborg?"

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He blinks. "I don't know? I mean, I may be completely wrong here and that's a just-so story, maybe it's just the whimsical mercurial thing, you're the witch genius, I dunno how my power relates to myself. I mean, if you were trying to explain that constraint, how would you explain it?" Pause. "I just thought of a way maybe but I want to hear what you have to say anyway."

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"Your guess will be better than mine but I'm starting to wonder if it's aimed more at cosmetic results than practical ones."

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He thinks about that. "Kinda? I mean, I guess it'd be super cool if I could shoot lasers out of my eyes but that's, yeah, not really what I meant. My guess is mostly that my magic is about my body, and cyborg isn't as much about a presentation as it is an... addition. Kinda like clothing? I wouldn't feel like clothing is a way I am, it's just a thing I have on me at the moment and that's not the same at all."

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"Hmm. What things are about what you are, then? Hair color counts, cyborg parts do not..."

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"...everything that grows?" he tries. "I don't think I could shift hair that fell or nails I cut."

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"So you identify with things that you grow more than things that you build, because they're part of who you are. ...You know, I've never met a witch who could do magic to their magic before, but I'm just going to toss that idea out there, you grew it, it's natural to you."

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"Metamagic? Okay that sounds really cool."

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"Might not work, but your power's as plausible as any for it."

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"Got any thoughts on how to go about doing that? Because I have no idea what I'd even focus on, if that's possible it might be better to wait until I can maybe shift without knowing what my destination would look like or something?"

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"Well, I don't know if this helps, but to my magic, your magic tastes like eggwhites."

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"...my magic has a taste? Why does my magic have a taste? Is that common?"

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"It's just how my own witchcraft interprets things. Plenty of witches have synaesthesia to go with it. When I grab something, I taste it and how to use it. It's a nice compensation for my dietary constraints."

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"Well, do these tastes usually mean anything?"

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"I can usually make up a just-so story. But there are only so many foods with so many properties."

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"Are tastes typically unique?"

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"No exact duplicates, but I've met several different kinds of bread and so on."

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"Hmm... and did those breads have anything in common? And just how many witches have you met?"

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"Nothing obvious. A certain general applicability and Western upbringing. And lots, but I don't spend as much time with most of them as you."

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"Really? We've only been at it for three days and you've given me so many ideas and there's so much to do!"

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"Sometimes I find witches whose powers are stuck. Or only flex in one or two ways. Or who simply don't want to work with me for some reason."

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"Hmm, I guess that makes sense. What kinds of powers have you found? On the one hand I really really want to develop mine, but on the other I'm pretty sure I could listen to you talking about them for days but you probably care more about the former."

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"Yours is unusually good, if slow. Sometimes it's just, say, an enhanced sense, or the ability to find people you're looking for. There are some good ones, though. Telepaths and precogs and one guy who controls the four classical elements."

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"Whoa, there are precogs? That is super cool I think I'm a bit jealous. ...oh I forgot to say! I can see ultraviolet!"

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"Oh, good for you! Your cones came in?"

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"Yeah! And I really need to invent lots of new words for colours, now, there's a whole lot of context to all other colours that wasn't there before."

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Addy boops him. "I'm afraid languages are pretty inadequate to such a task."

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"Yeah. Anyway, what should I do next? Oh, look, I can do nails faster." He shows his palm, and a nail grows at the same spot it grew the first time, taking only about ten seconds to do it. "I'm still kinda learning to generalise, but I can do it almost anywhere in less than a minute."

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"Did you test your chlorophyll yet?"

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"I didn't skip lunch, but my lips are tastier than ever!"

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"Promising. Are you developing pearls?"

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"Nnnnot yet. I had some plans about that, and I looked some stuff up on them, and it turns out it takes years for them to form. I think I could probably do it faster but I'm not sure how, I'd need some more information about how exactly it works."

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"I will get you a book about oysters. Anything else getting you stuck?"

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"I haven't tried coral yet, but!" He closes his eyes and his forehead starts moving the way they do when he shifts nerves and stuff around. Eventually a tiny point appears right in the middle, but it's sharp enough to cut through skin almost immediately, this time with no bleeding to speak of. He continues pushing the single horn out, shaped somewhat like an elephant's tusk only smaller, and with the same ivory texture. He opens his eyes as it grows, and beams.

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"You're a unicorn. Congratulations, you can make a fortune on the black market selling arguably genuine ivory if you can just detach it."

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"I'm not growing nerves with. And since I can shape it..."

It's still growing, but as it does, it starts getting pretty thin around the base. Sadde holds it with his hands, and by the time it has stopped growing it's only technically still connected to the bone on his forehead. He uses that connection to reshape the base so it looks like it's been sawed off, and then he snaps it off, wincing very slightly. The exposed bone of his forehead returns to its old regular shape, and his skin starts knitting itself back very neatly.

"Ta-da!"
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"Congratulations!"

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"This power is really a stretch from the personality thing but I'll take it. And I mean, it's breaking Conservation of Energy pretty easily, here. I bet I could make honey."

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"You probably could make all kinds of things from honey to milk to cruelty-free filet mignon, although I don't know that I'd advise telling anyone where you got your potluck contributions."

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He giggles. "Now that's fun, I could become vegetarian by eating myself." More giggling. "...seriously, though, where is this mass coming from? I've not been eating noticeably more between yesterday and today."

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"Magic. Or maybe you're breathing out less than usual and using the carbon. Or you'll be ravenous tomorrow. Or the chlorophyll worked better than you thought."

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He looks at the horn he's holding. "Maybe I should have tested this before shedding mass like that."

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"I don't think having a really big breakfast tomorrow will do you any harm. But come to think of it, can you reabsorb it?"

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He looks at the bone then touches its tip to the part of his forehead's that's still exposed. The bone there starts shifting to try to engulf the detached one, but then it stops and returns to its old shape. "It doesn't feel like me at all. It feels like some random object I just happen to be holding."

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"When did that kick in?"

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"The 'not being me' thing? I wasn't paying attention, I think it was when it effectively broke. Lemme test something."

Instead of a horn, a fingernail! His left thumb's fingernail, to be specific. As it grows, he goes and grabs a nail clipper. First, he reshapes the fingernail a bit, to demonstrate that he can. Then he clips it halfway. Can still reshape it, can mend it. He clips it so it's only barely still connected to him, and it's still him. He clips the rest of the way, and that's it.
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"Hmmm... what about fluids? Those don't have as clear a point of disconnection."

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More pondering, some licking lips. "It doesn't feel like me at all. After I've actually produced it I can't seem to change it. Well, saliva, anyway, maybe blood's different? I'm not sure I want to change my blood inside my veins, though, I think that might kill me."

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"But you were able to grow a new finger, which presumably got blood, and then get rid of it after. Maybe you need to watch your blood pressure."

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"Okay, that's actually a good test, yeah. Grow something that'd need more blood, then shrink it back, measure my blood pressure throughout. It'd need to be something pretty large to be noticeable, though."

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"I don't have a blood pressure cuff or know offhand where to buy one but I can get a decent reading with my bare hand."

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"Okay. What should I grow?"

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"Ooh, do a tail."

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"Okay!"

This one will take a while, he never did it before and it's involved. He doesn't want an ugly skin tail, though, so he starts out by growing a patch of hair at the base of his spine. He has read a bit of his anatomy book, skimmed over most parts, and paid a lot of attention to the most interesting pictures. Bone structure were some of them, since most of the times his transformations hurt happen because of bones squeezing stuff that shouldn't be squeezed.

So the next part is turning the end of his spine into not-quite-an-end, something that will become a tail but is still attached to his hips. He bases off other mammals' tails, and then his starts growing, pushing against his skin as he stretches it and makes more hair grow.

He's not content until his tail is about three quarters as long as he is tall, and that takes a while. About an hour and a half, to be precise. Hopefully Addy is patient, because once he starts he pretty much forgets she exists, and is wholly engrossed and focused in this process.

As for his blood pressure? No variation to speak of.
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Addy's very patient, with a light grip on his elbow to monitor blood flow. She does not lick her lips.

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She could've. He wouldn't have noticed.

He unfocuses and looks over his shoulder, thwacking himself on the forehead with his tail. "This will take a while to get used to," he giggles, then looks at Addy again, flicking his tail this way and that. "Any change in blood pressure?"
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"Nope, steady the entire time. So you are definitely making new blood. Now the question is whether you can get rid of it. Preferably without endangering the carpet."

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He pouts. "But I liiiike my tail!" Then shrugs. "But fine, I'd just have to shrink it back before school tomorrow anyway."

Shrinking! It's easier to shrink than it is to grow, though it still takes about 40 minutes to be done all in all. And his blood pressure remains exactly the same throughout.

"So?"
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"And you are getting rid of the blood, or your pressure would have gone way up when you squished the tail's worth in. So you can too handle fluids - at least that one - but so far you only know how to do it as part of another shift."

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"Hmm. Okay. I can too handle fluids. Any idea on how to do it? I'm grasping at straws here with figuring out how the heck my power decides what's actually a part of me and what isn't."

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"What did you notice when you were so absorbed in removing your tail?"

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"I was only really paying attention to the solid parts, shrinking and reabsorbing bone and hair, unstretching—destretching? Something like that, with the skin and the muscles and the nerves and the blood vessels. I didn't actually pay any attention to the blood itself, though."

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"Well, it may have folded in with the vessels... are you doing capillaries individually or does your magic handle those okay?"

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"Mostly the magic. I have this... awareness, sorta, of my body, and it's all fuzzy around the edges. I can feel the capillaries if I focus on them, but most of the time focusing on the larger vessels takes care of it all."

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"Try adding a little something with capillaries in it somewhere and pay attention to them, they might be taking your blood with them when they go."

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"Okay."

So he does that with a finger, creating and reabsorbing it, the whole process taking eight minutes. He pays attention to the capillaries this time, then declares not noticing anything like that.

If Addy happens to still be measuring his blood pressure, she might notice that there was a slight increase this time, as if a finger's worth of blood had been added to his vessels.
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Of course she was. "You added blood that time."

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"What? Why?"

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"I don't know but I want to."

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"Okay... Let's see... The only difference this time was that I was paying attention to the capillaries... And... They weren't fuzzy anymore..." He blinks. "So I think maybe—"

He's interrupted by Laura's arrival! "Hi sweetheart, hello Addy. Much progress today?"

"Yeah! I made a tail!"

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"Which was very impressive, but more importantly, he made blood and then got rid of it again, which he seems currently to only be able to do subconsciously. Work in progress."

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"I can see why generating blood might be very useful, but why would getting rid of it be?"

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"So that he doesn't burst like a balloon after doing a lot of the generating part."

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"Ah, yes, that would ruin the carpet," she says amusedly. "In any case, I'm sure he has taken up enough of your time for today."

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Addy is not literally incapable of taking a hint! "See you tomorrow, Sadde." And off she skips.

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It is:

the following day.

"I figured it out!" she says excitedly when Addy arrives.
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"Ooh, what'd you figure out?"

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"If I dump the blood into other more solid tissue it gets reabsorbed with it. My magic was doing that when I wasn't paying attention, but when I did pay attention it kept the blood in the actual vessels. I think if I ground up the bone from yesterday into powder I could reabsorb it too."

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"I can do that and bring it back tomorrow if you want to try. I could also bring you some other powder and see if your magic rejects what wasn't yours to begin with."

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"Oooh good ideas! How are you gonna do it?"

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"Remember how I," boop, "have your witchcraft?"

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"I mean how are you gonna powder it in the first place?" Pause. "I wonder if I can just reshape bone into powder."

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"Ooh, could you? Be careful you don't wind up losing bits you don't know how to reabsorb yet in any of your more crucial systems, but that would be very interesting."

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"No, look!" She shows her right palm, and a circle in the middle slowly solidifies into bone, then starts growing. "I figured, given the extent of what I can do, there's no reason why bone should only come from bone. Magic agreed."

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"Ooh, lookit you. Best prodigy witch."

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She beams. "Okay, let's see..."

Frowning. For a few minutes.

"It feels like I could do it, but I don't have enough... precision?"
Permalink Mark Unread

"You can do capillaries and cone cells but not pulverized bone, really?"

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She frowns and tries again.

"...yeah. It's not exactly the same, though. The capillaries were branching off from larger vessels so I could keep some track, but I could only like focus on bunches of it at the same time, not any individual one, and the cones were also done in kinda modified batches from other cones. This though is... The bone feels like this pure featureless mass and trying to grind it up would require me to kinda draw a lot of minuscule cracks. I can do larger cracks individually, though," and to demonstrate she makes the bone she'd been growing fall of her hand, and then returns the hand's skin to its normal non bony state.
Permalink Mark Unread

"Maybe you could halve it, and then halve it the other way, and then halve the quarters, and so on..."

Permalink Mark Unread

"But if I halved it all the time how would I keep the parts always connected to me to keep affecting them?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Here, do the disk on your palm again."

Permalink Mark Unread

She does.

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Addy takes her hand and traces a cross across it, then an offset cross, like a sliced pie. "Like that, and then -" She draws a grid over the cross. "Like that, and so on, but it's always attached to your hand, just not to itself. Until you're holding a palmful of attached powder and can detach it all at once. Sound doable?"

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"Yeah, I'll try that. And your hand's really cold, are you okay?" It's also kinda hard to the touch, but Sadde doesn't feel like that's a polite thing to say. She's not always tactful but by now she's grown pretty fond of Addy.

Permalink Mark Unread

"I'm fine. Circulation thing." Addy lets go of her hand.

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"Huh. Alright."

Sadde starts working on it, and at first it's quite easy. After there are enough slices, however, creating new ones that aren't just the same as the old ones becomes increasingly hard, and each new slice takes longer than the previous one.
Permalink Mark Unread

"What's tripping you up?"

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"Creating new slices that are far enough from all others that they're not just widenings of another slice."

Permalink Mark Unread


"Maybe if you ran sandpaper over the intact slice of bone it'd give you fine little grooves to follow."
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"Oh, that sounds like a good idea." Pause. "Couldn't I just use the sandpaper itself as I grow more bone to keep grinding it?"

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"If you sand your bone to powder that's a way to get bone powder, sure, but it's not going to do a thing for your magic."

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"I guess," she sighs. "I don't think we have any, though."

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"I'll bring some tomorrow."

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She grins. "Best teacher!"

Permalink Mark Unread

"I try!"

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"Alright, what next?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Non-blood fluids?" suggests Addy. "Without such a convenient mechanism as capillaries hiding the action from you."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Producing or absorbing?"

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"Both, of course, you don't want the wrong amount of lymph."

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She giggles. "I'm not sure I want to start out with that. Saliva is probably still the safest one to try."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Sure. No shortage of options. Leave spinal fluid for last."

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And so it goes. It turns out that Sadde cannot convince her power to treat free fluid as if it were a part of her and shift it, but she can produce and reabsorb arbitrary fluids, which is almost as good. Her hunch about powder turns out to be correct as well, and it doesn't matter whence comes the matter. She can produce pretty arbitrary biological things, and stretch "biological" pretty far (producing, say, iron), but not too far (no gold). Eventually, the main limitation is practice time, human precision and human memory. Addy bids goodbye. Years pass.

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Sadde is:

twenty-three.

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Knock knock!

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Blink blink. "Addy?"

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"Hey Sadde! How goes?"

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Sadde is no longer living in a tiny apartment in London.

He is living in a rather large and well-decorated apartment in London.

"Pretty great! Wow I did not remember you were this pretty. Erm. Wanna come in?"

Sadde, himself, is quite pretty, and of course, that is by design.
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"Sure!" In she comes. "If that's going to be awkward, you should know that I'm completely asexual."

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He blinks again. "Okay, attempts at flirting will no longer happen."

No, seriously, it is a really large apartment. There's a second story!

"Anyway, how about you, how've you been?"
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"I've been doing well! I thought I'd swing by while I was in town. Did your magic turn out to have any hidden depths that you dug up without me or is it as-was?"

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"As far as I can tell, no hidden depths, only other creative uses. Same memory slash training slash precision limits, though. I have a few useful shifts pretty much instinctive by now, and I've created some personal vocabulary for the qualia involved that English doesn't have and started keeping a diary with recipes for other stuff."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Ooh, personal vocabulary!"

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"Yes! Wanna see?" He's asking it out of courtesy, he doesn't wait for an answer before going upstairs to grab his notebook because of course she does.

...it's pure gibberish.

"I'm afraid I don't really have a dictionary," he says apologetically. "If you boop me I could show you what some of these meant but I think it'd take a few years for you to memorise them all."
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She boops him. "I'm a quick learner."

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So maybe it's time for him to teach her!

The first recipes are mostly basic general stuff, like how to turn some kind of tissue into some other kind, or how to rupture tissue without causing too much damage and pain, mostly the building blocks for more complex stuff.
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She is in fact a very quick learner.

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He notices this! "Wow okay you gotta teach me your trick, does your magic-copy power make you magic-learn other stuff too?"

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"I've always been good at learning things. My personality trait that gave rise to my magic is mimicry, remember?"

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"So it's not something teachable? That's disappointing," he sighs.

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"Well..."

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"That's promising."

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"I could tell you but then I'd have to kill you."

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"...that is less promising. I like being alive quite a lot."

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"Okay, strictly speaking I would not have to kill you. But I would sure have to do something whether you liked it or not."

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"Terrifying yet intriguing."

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"Lemme know which wins."

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"...is there anything more you can tell me about the non-murderous something before I make this decision?"

He does not seem to totally believe her. He does not seem to totally disbelieve her either.
Permalink Mark Unread

"I'm walking a fine line as-is."

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"Can you at least tell me whether you predict I'd take this bargain if I knew what it was? ...is this a dumb question? You probably do predict I'd take it or you wouldn't be offering it."

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"Bingo."

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He sighs. "Alright, then, there's a reason I was ever so good a student. Tell me."

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"You sure? 'Cause if I tell you and you do something stupid like run away screaming your head off I really do have to kill you."

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"You do remember my power was related to wanting to be in control of my body and my self, yes? I will do no such thing."

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"Right then. Wanna be a vampire?"

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"...is being a vampire the murder or the non-murder option? I'm genuinely curious."

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"The non-murder option. I mean, either way you aren't leaving this conversation with a beating heart, but there will not be a period of time spent underground."

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"You're serious. You're actually- well, okay, why the heck should I be surprised, I'm bloody Mystique." He shrugs. "I would still very much like to know as much as I can about this thing I now must become if I don't want to be dead."

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"It's pretty sweet, although you do get the occasional angstpire. Immortality, eidetic memory, ridiculously overengineered speed and strength, witchcraft upgrade where applicable. Unquenchable thirst for human blood, but, you know, you can't have everything."

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"Let me process this. Can I process it aloud?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Be my guest."

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"Alright. So, eidetic memory first, obvious yes, that's so useful. I don't care much for speed and strength, but I guess it's fun. Witchcraft update is an obvious yes as well, but 'where applicable' suggests that doesn't always happen?"

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"Speed includes cognitive. And some vampires aren't witches at all and some witchcraft doesn't turn out to respond to the change, but yours ought to if only because of the mental upgrade."

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"Okay, great, good, yes. Erm. Immortality, I'm pretty sure I'm immortal already, at least where diseases and old age and a variety of accidents are concerned, how much more immortal would I be?"

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"Killing a vampire requires pulverizing them into little tiny pieces and then setting them on fire. And we're hard to pulverize."

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"Okay, more immortal than I currently am. I wonder if I could make myself harder to pulverize, or maybe make myself fireproof..." He shakes his head quickly. "Later. This human blood thing... might be a problem. Can you qualify it? Are we talking True Blood, here, with little secret divey bars where humans go to be drunk?"

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"I have never seen the show. Or encountered a volunteer lunch. The way you turn into a vampire involves venom," she licks her teeth, "so it wouldn't really... work."

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He's pretty smart, or so he likes to think.

He's also pretty in control of his facial muscles.

"So you kill everyone you eat?"
Permalink Mark Unread

"Guilty."

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"How often do you have to eat?"
Permalink Mark Unread

"Every week or three. Less, optionally, it takes a truly uncomfortably long amount of time to actually starve, but that makes the unquenchable thirst thirstier."

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He's talking to a mass murderer.

He's talking to a mass murderer.

He's talking to a mass murder.

He's talking to a mass murderer.

He can't run, he can't call anyone, she has super speed and super strength, there is absolutely nothing he can do as a human to top that, his magic will take too long, if she notices him doing anything that'd render him harder to kill she'd kill him first, crap he has to become a vampire but he can't be a mass murderer can't can't can't—

"...can't you produce human blood while you're using my power?"
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"I could, actually. But I didn't keep it all that long. Lots to do."

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"Right. I'm mostly asking for. Me. Becoming a mass murderer: does not appeal."

He's quite calm, isn't he? Yes, he is. There's no use losing his head now.

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"Yeah, I figured if you had a complaint it'd be that one. That or the part where turning hurts like a motherfucker or the secrecy requirements. I've heard secondhand about oddball vampires who eat animals, so I suppose that's possible. Unappetizing, though."

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Eating animals: also an option. Good to know. She could have mentioned that first. And her objection to it is that it's unappetizing what the frick. And vampires who do that are oddball?!

"Before the other parts, I have to ask, will my psyche change a lot when I turn?" Because if the majority of vampires are mass murderers either there is some very strong selection effect going on or something really freaky happens in their head.
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"Nope. Stays put, we're very psychologically stable beasties. I couldn't've turned you when I found you, turning kids is super illegal, they don't develop and wind up laying waste to villages or what have you. Oh, but those of us who are not me do a mating for life thing, I'm pretty secure in my probable immunity but it's common elsewise."

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"...if I may ask, if we don't change, why do most vampires kill people casually? That is not a thing most humans would do if given the chance."

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"They're just that tasty and where required the rationalization engine does the rest. You don't believe me, and you will also not believe me about how much of a bitch turning is, but you'll see. Unless you'd rather just have a tragic accident falling down the stairs."

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"I would very much not prefer to have a tragic accident, no. And given that my power can produce a steady supply of blood, I'm hoping just that tasty will only indicate that I ought to go to a secluded corner and start bleeding into a cup. Or bucket, as may be the case." He shakes his head. "Okay, so, turning is a bitch, can you be more specific? Do you think maybe if I turned off my nerves that'd help with the pain? ...actually couldn't I just get rid of pain qualia altogether? If I'm going to become that durable afterwards."

His eye does not twitch. It does not. Being in perfect control of his body language is a trivial application of his power.

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"Maybe! If you can muster that kind of focus during, I mean, you might not be able to."

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"...okay. I might do it before." He clears his throat. "And the secrecy thing?"

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"Oh, yeah, if you tell anyone about vampires they get the turning or death option, else the vampire shadow government comes after you and kills you. Or optionally recruits you. Talking it out like this is not customary, usually it's 'good morning you're welcome for the three day hell welcome to vampirism'."

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Shadow vampire government.

"Any laws other than being a secret?"

Because clearly it's not a sane enough government to have laws about, oh, I don't know, not murdering people.
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"No immortal children, no newborn armies, and if they - they're called the Volturi - personally show up and tell you to do something you'll do it if you know what's good for you; that's about it."

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Which just means Sadde will make sure they will never personally show up and tell him to do anything.

Not until he overturns them and takes over, at any rate. Because that is a thing he will do.

"Okay. The mating thing?"
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"Oh, you people with your squishy feelings will occasionally meet someone else with compatible squishy feelings and then the vampire or vampires of the pair will squishy feelings to end all squishy feelings forever and ever. If somebody present is human they don't tend to stay that way. Can't be losing your eternal mate to ordinary human mortality, to say nothing of how awkward it would be to consummate the relationship and how poorly mated vampires sometimes deal with unreciprocated eternal adoration."

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"Hm."

Pause for a few seconds, some chewing on lip, some scratching of head.

"Can I email a couple of people to say I'm sick and slash or going on a short vacation as may be the case?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"If you don't mind me reading over your shoulder. But you probably shouldn't try to hang out with anybody you like for... say a year, maybe less maybe more, depends how quick you adjust and whether you can turn off your sense of smell."

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He nods slowly. "Yeah, sure, you can read over my shoulder."

Emails are sent! He has a pretty good computer, for 2004, and pretty good internet, for 2004. That's all done pretty quickly.

"Right, then. Might I want to store buckets worth of blood somewhere before turning?"
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"Yeah, you'll be hungry. And in case you can't cheat on the pain we will want to be somewhere no one can hear you scream."

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He nods. "Erm, you got anywhere in mind? I guess I could probably rent some remote cabin in the woods on pretty short notice, thanks for the help with the power by the way, I got pretty rich off it, but anyway that might take a few hours to arrange and then to actually go there, I'm not sure how pressed for time or worried about the possibility that I'll run away screaming you are."

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"I'm not in a dramatic hurry, but I do need to be recently fed to turn you without killing you, a state I am in right now and will stop being if you take forever about it. A cabin is not necessary, the woods themselves will do. And you're welcome."

Permalink Mark Unread

"...right, then, woods it is. Erm, I have a car, is that fine for you or do you prefer another mode of transportation? I should also obtain containers for lots of blood."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Car is fine."

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Car it is!

Off they go. They find a suitably remote location, and Sadde produces suitable amounts of blood for his own later consumption.
Permalink Mark Unread

Addy waits patiently.

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"Okay. I guess I'm as ready as I can be within the constraints. Oh, actually—" He closes his eyes, he doesn't really need to but it helps with concentration. There's some shifting of stuff under his skin, and it barely takes a minute, but when he opens his eyes he pinches his arm and declares that "I cannot feel any pain now."

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"That'll be one for the recordbooks."

She grabs him and gives him a chomp.
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At first, there is nothing. It's a pretty neat nothing, he doesn't even feel the pain of the chomp. That lasts a couple of hours. He reports this to Addy.

Then there is heat.

As his nerves start returning, he pokes at them from the inside, using his power's awareness. It's quite a curious feeling, and he can actually notice the venom working its way along his body. The way stuff changes, he suspects there's some genetic rewriting going on, which is absolutely fascinating.

As more nerves return, the heat starts becoming really uncomfortable, so he kills the nerves again. Yet they keep returning. He keeps killing them.

They return faster. And faster. He reports this with some alarm, and he reports that he's not quite able to keep up with them anymore. That's disappointing, but so far—



FIRE

He has no idea what has just happened, why there was a sudden return of all his nerves at the same time, but he was not prepared for it. He was not prepared to be seared from the inside, to be blindsided by such pain that he completely loses control of his body. When he opens his eyes again, he's lying on the ground, and he's sure they're lying to him, because they tell him the woods are not on fire, but they are, that's the only possible explanation.

He tries to kill his nerves again, but he can't. Or rather, he can, but they return as soon as he does that anyway.

He reports this to Addy between clenched teeth.

It has been three hours and twenty-seven minutes.
Permalink Mark Unread

"Well, you get a truncated version, that's better than most people get," Addy says soothingly. "It'll all go away when you're done. You won't even be traumatized, it's neat."

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"I would not describe this as neat," he says, or maybe he screams, he's not quite sure anymore.

It gets worse.

And the worst part is that he can see it getting worse, he can see the venom working on changing him, so he knows, an instant before he feels it, just how bad the next second is going to be.

And the next.

And the next.

And the next.

Fire consumes. It does not create. It makes no sense. Addy lied to him, she must have, he's not becoming anything he's just dying. Maybe she killed him in his apartment and this is Hell, maybe there's a god and it's pissed off that he didn't donate more to charity, or it's really irritated about the way he got really rich using magic, or maybe it was all the pranks. Or befriending a mass murderer, maybe that was worse. In retrospect that was pretty bad, he's sure there's something he could have done to her when she told him this, anything that would have kept him out of this Hell. Maybe she'd have killed him anyway but he'd not be in Hell now.

He is no longer reporting anything to Addy.

It has been seven hours and forty-four minutes.

A part of his mind still remembers that she told him this would last three days, but that's ludicrous, he's certain he's been feeling this for at least a month, maybe two, except he's also certain it has very much not been half a day yet and he's not sure he can take over two and a half more days of this.
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Addy hangs out, fiddling with her phone, whistling.

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It has been two days and something looks really wrong. Sadde does not look like he's two days along his transformation. He looks like it's only been a day.
Permalink Mark Unread


"Are you fucking with your cosmetic features or are you just fighting the venom so hard that it's actually slowing down the whole process?"
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"Make it STOP make it go AWAY I don't WANT IT—"

Incoherent screaming.

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"Sadde, if you haven't made it stop yet you're not going to. You're making it take longer."

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"I'm UNDOING, it's WORKING, I can SEE IT WORKING, if I'm fast enough—"

More incoherent screaming.

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"You're not going to be fast enough. Speed it up instead, get it over with."

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He doesn't have anything to say to that. He just screams more.

He never begs for death. It doesn't occur to him that she'll have to kill him if he does in fact manage to revert it, though, so he does beg for that.
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Addy continues waiting to see what sort of progress either way he'll make.

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His transformation lasts four days, three hours, seventeen minutes and nine seconds.

He doesn't fight it tooth and nail to the end; by the time his brain started getting noticeable boosts, he managed to argue himself out of fighting the transformation, and another hour later managed to argue his magic out of fighting the transformation. That was still not enough to make it faster overall.
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"Finally," Addy says, when she hears his heart speed up.

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That last part is a bit faster than usual, but it doesn't change that much. He jumps, and he is:

overhwelmed.

He hears her voice—her voice is gorgeous, how could he have ever considered her face her most beautiful aspect when she had a voice like that—and he turns to look at her.

And he turns, it is immediate, he has thought and it has happened, no delay, no visual blur, just the desire and its outcome. Except not really, because he does also see everything in between, in full detail. But then he sees her, and he was wrong, she's so beautiful, her face might well be as beautiful as her voice, he was blind before as well as deaf—

The scent.

The scent.

He makes a noise he didn't know was possible, and he drinks.
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Addy was kind enough to put it on ice for him, so it hasn't gone off.

"Feel better?" she asks, when he's emptied the buckets.
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"Yes," he says emphatically, and he's startled by his own voice. He laughs, and even his laughter is musical. "You didn't mention the expanded senses! Am I even using my magical cones—" He checks. "Nope, I'm not! They got burnt off! You could see ultraviolet all along!"

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"I could, it's true! I usually use my pupils' powers more with them than I did with you, but my results would have been going off entirely the wrong baseline."

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"I can barely remember what happened then. Shit, eidetic memory's drowning out my human memories, you didn't tell me that!" He growls. How dare she hide this from him! He could've—done something, written stuff down, now he won't remember, what if he's forgotten, it's her fault, he should hurt her for it—

Nope. Nnnnoooope, he should not. He cuts the growl short, and startles himself into growling again, and then dissolves into a fit of giggles, which itself becomes loud laughter. That was hilarious!
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"Oh yeah, that. Well, look, I didn't want to kill you. You'll remember anything really important."

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He nods a bit jerkily and thinks. Mum: Laura. Good. Last name: Woods, that's important, he's English. And...

There's just so much room, he can think so many things at the same time with almost arbitrary detail but why is everything so distracting fudging stupid vampire brain taking attention from everything and he's growling again but it's such a ridiculous notion that he starts laughing except who's this ducker laughing at him growl again oh wait it's him—

"How do you not get distracted by your own thoughts? Is everything going to—"

Food. He smells food and he's still so thirsty why does it burn wait the food's going away he has to go after it—Addy's there, she'll steal his food from him he should kill her no he shouldn't she'll kill him instead if he tries he growls and he bolts.

Permalink Mark Unread

Addy chases him from a little ways back. Not close enough to make it look like she's planning to steal the food.

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He notices it, and draws the correct non-food-stealing conclusion. Good. Food stealing is bad, he'd hate to have to fight her.

He can hear his food, the delicious heartbeat, the—

He stops suddenly and holds his breath, then spins on his heels and darts directly away from where the food was.
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He nearly runs into Addy. "What, not hungry after all?"

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He raises a finger and says, "Wait a second," without renewing his storage of air.

He notices he doesn't need to breathe at all. That's neat, he's not sure if Addy mentioned this when he was still human, the memories are muddy, but that's neat.

He inhales tentatively, then resumes breathing normally to talk. "Not hungry enough to want to kill someone. I need to go find those buckets again."
Permalink Mark Unread

"They're right where you left them. Probably dissolving a little around the rims where you drank from them, but they'll hold blood. Might be more efficient just to generate it directly in your mouth, though."

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He blinks, and nods. That's a good idea, yes, one he hadn't thought of before because everything else was so—"Overwhelming, how do you deal with it?"

He starts producing human blood instead of venom in his mouth and drinking it. It tastes like his own blood did when he was still human, and it's produced much faster than he'd be able to actually bleed it as a human with a beating heart.
Permalink Mark Unread

"Practice. That and I'm not being confronted unexpectedly by that thing you're doing now; that'll test any vampire's control if you start doing it all of a sudden, you could get some very violent kisses that way."

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He stops producing blood and swallows what's already in his mouth then washes it down with some more venom then nods. "Yeah, okay, will keep this in mind."

Chug chug chug!
Permalink Mark Unread

"And if you do go so far as to slip up around humans, you cannot be squeamish about it. The Volturi won't stop at killing you, they'll mop up your loose ends too, and it's no good hiding people, one of them can download your whole brain with a touch. They will know if you've ever sparkled or lifted a car or moved too fast in front of a human, and you are not equipped to manage newborns of your own right now."

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The chugging doesn't pause, because his new brain is very good at multitasking when he actually tries, but this would be about when he'd have stopped whatever he's doing to be in shock.

Chug, swallow, clean. "One of them can download my brain with a touch," he says, deadpan. "Why didn't you tell me this before?!" he growls again, dropping into a crouch for a second before straightening up again. Godsdamnit vampire brain!
Permalink Mark Unread

"Because I didn't want to kill you! Complain about my motives all you like, but I think that one's fairly noble as these things go!"

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"You were going to turn me anyway, what damage would it have done to tell me about this when you mentioned all the other things about them and why can't I fucking stop growling!" he growls again. It is very frustrating.

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"I was going to turn you if you preferred it to dying," she clarifies. "I can newborn-wrangle but I don't like having to do it with people who didn't get at least the major warnings. Aro's witchcraft isn't a major warning, don't fuck up and he'll never bother with you."

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"...fine, no fucking up," he grumbles, and wrestles his anger back down. "We have very different conceptions of what counts as major." He sighs, and it's a wholly voluntary action. "I've deactivated my sense of smell, by the way."

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"Oh, good for you, that'll make most activities in public places simpler."

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"Yeah." And it'll make him less likely to go on killing sprees. And a count of exactly one murder counts as a spree to him. "Okay, so, what exactly does 'newborn-wrangling' consist of? I guess it's pretty clear I have some work ahead of me. Maybe starting with ignoring the very insistent voice in my head telling me you're a threat and I should either rip your arms off or run away."

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"That'll die down eventually. You're more lucid than the average newborn - well, maybe lucid's the wrong word, what with all the giggling, but you have not actually taken a swipe at me and running away from the food was incredibly impressive too. I am here to - should you lose it in front of too many people to easily kill quietly - rip your arms off."

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He winces. "Now the voice is very insistently telling me that I should run very very fast. It doesn't want my arms to be ripped off." He shakes his head then sighs. "Could—would it be okay if you didn't eat anyone while I was around? I can produce as much blood as you want, if you boop me you can too, and—yeah. I'd also separately be much obliged if you ripped my arms off if I tried to eat so much as one person."

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"I will indulge your squeamishness as long as you supply me with such a convenient power for it," she says, holding out her hand. "I'm not sure I ought to stop you from preying on lone hikers. What's in it for me?"

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He boops her. "Erm. Making your witch pupil very grateful and happy?" he tries.

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"All right, but if you turn out to be difficult to dismember compared to the standard newborn you can eat all the lone hikers you want, see if I care."

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He nods. "Okay, that's fair. I promise I'll try to make it as easy as possible to dismember." He shakes his head. "I should probably find a good excuse to disappear, huh. People will be worried."

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"Well, if you can avoid smelling you might be rated for interacting with people in months if not weeks, and you, unlike other vampires, will be able to go out on sunny days. So you could go back to whatever you were doing, potentially, if you behave."

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He blinks, then beams, and a part of him notices that it's not just anger that dominates his psyche when it appears.

But then he hmms. "Should I avoid smelling, though? That's an entire sense I'd be discarding, and while if that's the only way I can not-be-a-murderer I'll gladly do it, the little I experienced of it was on par in awesomeness with my current vision. And if I ever do need it, I'm not sure it'd be that great to never have gotten used to human scent."
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"Practice with your generated human blood out in the middle of nowhere, if you like. But most new vampires have to make do with holding their breaths every time someone has a papercut. Makes it hard to talk."

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"Alright, guess I have the better deal here. Even if my turning did take a whole day and change more than others do."

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"That was your own stupid fault."

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"Yes, it was," he admits. "Still a pretty sweet deal, other than the searing fire in my throat I'm not even traumatised, being a vampire is awesome, everyone should be one." That thought skirts waayyyy too close to treasonous thoughts, though, and the fact that Volturi head honcho can download his mind makes him try to think about something else immediately. Fortunately he's so easily distracted! "Should we come back to my house?"

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"Are you sure you want to go into the middle of London on day one? Even with your many advantages? It's nothing on the smell, but heartbeats and really pale people with visible veins are still a thing, and you can barely control your mood, let alone your teeth."

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"Okay, good points all, where do you suggest?"
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"Here's fine. Unless you're really feeling the lack of furnishings. Introduce yourself to the next hiker. Shake hands. Stare at their throat. If you mess up it's no big deal and I don't have to commit arson."

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"Yeah it is quite big a deal to me I think I want some less direct-contact tests before going with that. Maybe look at someone from a distance." Pause. "And I was not expecting humans to be quite this tasty, I had expected to come back after three days, and I don't have internet here. Fudge."
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"No cell phone?"

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"I didn't bring it, I expected there was a very good chance I'd lose or crush it if I had."

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"Well, you might crush mine if I loan it out, pick up a rock or a stick or something."

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He looks around for a suitably shaped rock and picks it up.

Oops. No he doesn't. He starts laughing. "This feels like butter." He tries again, this time being very delicate, and noticing that he actually has very fine control over how much strength he exerts. He doesn't crush that one. "...I should probably still not use a cell phone for a while."
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"Anybody you want me to text?"

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He thinks about it then frowns. "I can't remember! Yes—my mother, my boss, and my friends—I don't remember all their names! Well, okay, some of them, the closest ones, I can remember those.” He rattles off a list of eleven names, as well as appropriately mysterious details each of them should hear, confident that Addy would remember them all.

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"You don't remember their phone numbers, do you."
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"Nnnnooooo but I can give you the keys to the apartment and you can maybe get my phone and do that? And I can sit here and twiddle thumbs, I guess." He sounds positively miserable about this, which, of course he does.

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"I can do that, no problem. Are you going to cause trouble while I'm not around to rip your arms off?"

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"Nnnnnnoooooo I'm gonna just stay here and get distracted by how pretty all these dust motes are."

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"Okay. Be right back. Don't turn your sense of smell on."

And off she zooms.
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He doesn't turn his sense of smell back on! And for the first few minutes, he does in fact just sit there twiddling his thumbs.

But eventually he thinks of something even more fun to do than admiring blades of grass.

He bets Addy will be interested in this fun thing when she comes back.
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Addy comes back with his phone and other objects in the apartment that looked memory-jogging.

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They jog his memory! He remembers people, and what his mother looks like, and that one ex-boyfriend who he still pines over but has never gotten the courage to call again since they broke up's phone number!

Also his notebooks, which he quickly devours and memorises lots of things.

Not that he needs to.

He beams at Addy as his skin gets less sparkly and becomes red, then he grows a tail and a pair of horns, and it's all pretty smooth and much faster than he could've done while human. "This is so much easier! Look!" He cups his hands and shakes them a bit, and they fill with bone powder. "But I bet you knew that, I bet you tested all these things when you were on your own already!" he accuses playfully.
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"You caught me."

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"Ngh!" he complains. "Well did you ever think of anything that might be expanded upon my turning other than the fact that I have basically infinite mental room and super speed and super precision and concentration?"

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"It's a lot harder to predict what will change on turning than to predict what can change with time and elbow grease. It would not floor me if you could now shapeshift other people, or produce totally inorganic materials, or beat any other vampire you met in contests of Standard Vampire Attributes unless they had a more specialized witchcraft helping, but you might have gotten no upgrades besides the brain one, I don't know."

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"Hm. Shapeshift other people, okay, that's something to try. Totally inorganic—well, given just how much my definitions of organic have changed over the past few days, that could maybe work, yeah. I dunno about the Standard Vampire Attributes—how are they even encoded? Is it just magic fuelling our bodies or something?"

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"I think the current understanding is that a non-witch vampire is technically not magic, just evolutionarily inexplicable. But I don't know if you can improve on vampire venom as an all-purpose doing-things fluid."

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"Are there many biologists or physicists turned vampire? Because I may not be either of those but what I do know of them makes me think there is no way in heck this isn't magic."

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"Couldn't tell you, not my area."

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"Alright, then, let's see..."

Over the following couple of weeks—sleepless weeks! He doesn't have to sleep! He is really glad he became a vampire, so useful—they determine that Sadde's power has not substantially revised its opinion of what counts as biological, though it does make him more immortal than the typical vampire. Addy's guess about enhanced Standard Vampire Attributes also turns out to be true, but that's mostly just because of the different raw material and some magic-based insights on how to tweak it.

The boost to cognition is by far the most significant improvement, but she already knew that.

Sadde also sees people from a distance, and although the heartbeats and veins are horribly tempting, they're not enough to turn him into a raging machine of death.

He's now pondering the pros and cons of turning his sense of smell back on.

"Do you think I should?"
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With a few weeks under his belt Addy thinks his guess is better than hers about whether that's smart. Although she does advise him not to do his blood generation trick near any humans. Being mid-"hunt" around humans is a bad plan even if "hunting" means "salivating weirdly".

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Good point! He thinks he probably wants to try, it can't be that hard if all other vampires do it.

...then again, other vampires don't have as many compunctious as he does about the occasional slip up.

He decides to drink enough to slosh before turning his sense of smell on with a human anywhere nearby.
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This is an entirely reasonable precaution.

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"Anywhere nearby" is about five hundred metres away, covered by trees.

The slosh helps. It's abundantly clear that it does, because the second he can smell again his throat is on fire. He holds himself very still, focusing on the fact that it's a person, and that he has just eaten a lot and he's a horrible person when he has to convince not to kill someone by arguing that he's just eaten and now he's in a funk.

But it's a murderless funk so, um, yay?
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Sure, why not.

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He does that a few more times over the next few weeks, getting progressively closer to his targets each time. One time he does in fact go after a human, but the shock of having his first arm ripped off by Addy is enough to snap him out of it. Also, his power grows another arm pretty quickly, so, oops?

Eventually he feels confident enough to shift his skin and eyes into more natural colours and actually talks to a human. It's about as awful as he'd expected it would be, but he's getting used to the awfulness so he doesn't actually kill anyone!
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"You did not have to grow a new arm. This one would've gone back where it came from just fine if you just licked the stump and held it in place," Addy comments, when she is left holding a redundant arm.

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"It was wholly accidental and unconscious," he says, giggling as he pulverizes his extra arm (that's marginally faster and way more fun than just shrinking it back) then reattaches the old one.

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"Sure it was."

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"My magic has a very protective personality."

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"Yum."

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Eventually Sadde feels she's ready to come back home.
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"I will stalk you for the first week or two in case you have a newborn moment, and then I'm going to fuck off," Addy says. "I know you'll miss me terribly."

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She laughs. "I actually will!" And one part of her whispers in her head that Addy will now resume being a mass murderer but there's not much she can do about it yet.

Human-coloured self, activate!
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Addy goes all human-colored too. It's more convenient, as long as she can.

Stalk, stalk, stalk, stalk the newborn vampire.
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The newborn vampire's friends are delighted that she is alive!

The newborn vampire is delighted that she is not eating her friends!

The newborn vampire's mother is far too smart to believe her lies.
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Addy reminds the newborn vampire that her options are baldfaced lies or her mother coming over all dead if the Volturi ever find out or actually turning her mother, which Sadde is not nearly old enough to do yet (even older vampires kill some of the people they're trying to turn, Addy needed a few people's worth of practice before she was willing to bite anyone she wanted alive, etc.) and which will not leave said mother with stealth witchcraft either.

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The newborn vampire is aware of this, and reassures Addy that she will not attempt turning Laura anytime soon.

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Good, good.

So Addy collects Sadde's phone number, leaves her own, and fucks off.
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Bye Addy!

Months pass. Laura still does not believe Sadde's tale about that month she disappeared a while back, but has long since stopped pressing; her daughter is a grown woman, she can very well disappear for a month if she wants to, at least she warned first, even if she lied through her teeth.

And then there's the car accident.

Laura's in the hospital. She's in a coma, her spine is broken, and the doctors are not optimistic. Sadde stays with her day and night, a fact that is helped by her not needing to sleep or even to hunt—just turn off smell and drink a lot of blood. She couldn't care about the smell of other humans anyway, her mind is filled enough with Laura that even the thirst cannot compete.

Laura takes a turn for the worse. The doctor tells Sadde to prepare. Sadde prepares. The following day, Laura has mysteriously disappeared from her room, and so has Sadde, who is not reachable by phone or email.

Sadde cannot cry. But there's one thing she can do, and she thinks she's strong enough.

She isn't. She tries to stop, she wanted to save her but she couldn't, she couldn't, she wasn't strong enough, she can't can't can't her mother is dead and Sadde killed her

Sadde disappears.

Whenever she meets someone, she shifts. No two people see her looking the same way. She can't deal with people. She doesn't turn her sense of smell on again. She can't. She's dangerous, a murderer. It was all for nothing.

She travels, but only to remote areas. She visits wildernesses and uninhabited locations, and she doesn't eat anyone, but she doesn't give herself the chance anyway.

One day, she's contacted, magically. She's told that the Volturi are no more, and that the new administration frowns upon eating people. She's told that there will be occasional eye checks, and that the eyes of "vegetarian" vampires look like so.

Her eyes now look like so.

She breathes again.